Latest posts by Pete Puma (Posts)
- Brooklyn Bar Holds Contest For Smallest Wiener - May 20, 2013
- Pallas and the Centaur – Sandro Botticelli - May 17, 2013
- Australian Politician Sorry For ‘Liking’ Teenage Scrotum - May 17, 2013
In it, he cites a study conducted at Durham University in the U.K. The study suggests that the concept of “beer goggles” is a farce; that people’s standards do not, in fact, drop after they’ve consumed alcoholic beverages.
As someone whose nickname in college was “Troll F*cker,” this study interests me on a number of levels. Nearly my entire concept of self-worth is dependent upon my ability to use alcohol as an excuse for historical impropriety.
The study goes on to state that alcohol, rather than making others seem more attractive than they are, actually represses the more rational parts of our brains while revving up the brain’s centers of lust; the most primitive area of our gray matter.
Luckily for me, I see this as a matter of semantics, more or less. Whether I drunkenly slept with an earth pig because I thought she was beautiful, or I realized she was beastly and didn’t care at the time because I was too drunk to be rational is as close to immaterial as I can get.
I still get to blame alcohol, and that’s what’s important.
I guess what I’m saying is that, like a fundamentalist Christian, I can reconcile just about anything if it allows me to maintain my historical line of thinking.
Now pour me a shot, beautiful.